What's your best tweet?
Just poisoned the family dog, injected crystal methamphetamine into my sister's pet lizard, and put human body parts in my grandma's food.
What are six things you could never do without?
Peanut butter, my father, my computer, my iPod, my car, North Dakota.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
I'm an English major in college so I use it to always be working on writing and creative ideas.
What's your favorite Twitter app?
Twibes. It lets you group yourself into categories and discover other users who are interested in tweeting the same stuff you are.
Twitter or Facebook?
Facebook, but only because it allows me to create photo albums of my grandma's face.
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
I personally don't watch the trending categories because they end up getting spammed by people who nonsensically throw trend words together.
What feature should Twitter add?
The ability to get to old posts faster, such as numbering pages instead of having to click "more" over and over to find old tweets.
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
The author Chuck Klosterman. He's from North Dakota and writes funny pop culture essays, books, and rock criticism.
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
"You" and "are". I try to avoid having my tweets look like shorthand texts as much as I possibly can.
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
Yes, @gabfrab You can't follow yourself, but I'd really like to send that guy an @ and ask him about the cigarette goggles he wears.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
Yes, many people. Normally because a person I thought could be interesting never adds anything to their tweets besides straight details.
Why should we vote for you?
I watch birds eat dog food, I live in North Dakota, I think you're fantastic, and http://twitpic.com/z0mnv
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
I met a girl through Twitter who knows a bunch of homeless people so we met up, fed the homeless, then watched them smoke drugs on the street
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
I've never created a hashtag, but I'd love for people to start using #oldpopcorn
How do you make your tweets unique?
I always try to tell a story or inject black humor. I ask if I'd want to read it if I didn't know me, then post what would make people laugh.
What inspires you to tweet?
Receiving replies or actual handwritten letters from people telling me how much I can make them laugh just through tweets.
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
No. I try to space out my tweets because it can be annoying to find five in a row from a person. I like you brah, but not that much.
140 characters of advice for a new user?
You don't have to tell the truth! If the truth is boring, flip it around and make it fun for people to read.
How long can you go without a tweet?
Up to 45 years. But usually just a few hours.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
Are all the people in your real life aware that you Twitter? In my case the answer would be no.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
My good friend @haylard She is self deprecating, knows how to type a good 140 character real life-relatable joke, and doesn't over-tweet.
Why'd you start tweeting?
The ability to make someone thousands of miles away, in a different country, who I'll never meet, laugh really hard with just a few words.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
Yes. It allows me to be creative and write everyday, even if it's only about driving out to my parents' house to steal toilet paper.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
Embellish or make interesting what they're tweeting about. Eating chicken isn't interesting. Eating chicken in the shower is.
How will the world change in 2010?
Hopefully someone will invent new flavors of peanut butter. Besides that, let's hope it becomes even more fantastic.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Filling your page with nothing but @ replies and links, sending out an auto message when someone new follows you, being boring.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?